BoJack Horseman Wiki

This is the quote page for The Kidney Stays in the Picture, which is the 6th episode of Season 6.

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Scene 1: MSNBSea

Tom: .....And they even let the birthday boy pilot the airplane. There were no survivors. [Tom solemnly puts his hand on his chest and then he continues] In other news, the newly formed Guild of Hollywoo "Guild of Assistants" to negotiate terms for a standard agreement.

[Interview with Casey McGarry, Stuart, and other assistants]

[cameras flash]

Casey: I'm confident about the coming talks and confident we can avoid the strike. Our demands are reasonable and our services are crucial to this industry.

Scene 2: VIM Conference Room

[Lenny Turteltaub meets with the assistants in the VIM conference to negotiate their terms.]

Lenny: All right you little pishers. [He sits down in a chair.] Let's wrap this up quick so you can all go back this up quick so you can all go back to getting me wrong coffees. [Lenny smokes his cigar.] What do you want?

Casey: [Cheerily] We have one request. To not be treated like garbage. [Casey shrugs and smiles.]

Lenny: It appears we are at an impasse. [Lenny slams cigar down on ashtray.]

Scene 3: Street

[Title Card: Strike Day 1]

[People Clammoring] [Chaos in the streets, fire, and a dark cloudy sky]

Human Man: Where's my dry cleaning?

Cat Man: Where's my car?

Charley: [Looking at his cell phone] I don't know any of my passwords. [waving phone in the air] What's my mother's maiden name?

[camera pans to a pregnant human woman]

Pregnant Human Lady: [frantic] I'm going into labor! You need to call my doula!

Human Man: Would someone make me a reservation at Little Doms? [falls to knees, crying]


Scene 4: Pastiches Malibu: BoJack's Room

[Doctor Champ opens his eyes, blurry vision comes into focus]

Doctor Champ: Oh, no. Did I really drink last night?

[BoJack starts to speak, and Doctor Champ turns to look at him]

BoJack: Doctor Champ, I am so sorry. I—

[interrupting BoJack] Doctor Champ: Did anyone see me?

BoJack: [solemnly] You were in here all night.

Doctor Champ: [panicking] Nobody can know about this. There are twenty struggling addicts in this building who are counting on me.

BoJack: [stammers] Of course.

Doctor Champ: I am going to go home, take a shower. This never happened.

BoJack: Agreed.

Doctor Champ: But how do I get down from here without anyone seeing me?

BoJack: [sighs]

[Cut to Doctor Champ using bedsheet rope to climb from bedroom window onto the rooftop]

Doctor Champ: [swinging on the rope] Woah

BoJack: Okay, okay, easy.

Doctor Champ: [grunts] This requires a surprising amount of upper body strength.

BoJack: Stop swinging. Just slide down.

Doctor Champ: [yelling] Am I being inconspicuous? [flailing, kicking legs]

BoJack: Yes. Plus or minus the yelling. [covering his face with his hands]

Doctor Champ: I'm just going to let go.

BoJack: No, Don't—

[both scream, Doctor Champ lands on BoJack's back.]

Doctor Champ: Thank you, BoJack, for being there to catch me.

[Doctor Champ runs to his van.]

Doctor Champ: Up!

[engine starts, BoJack stares at Doctor Champ as he drives off]

BoJack: [muttering] Ew.

Scene 5: Tabbywood Apartments

[Todd is putting on a puppet show for Ruthie in the living room while she lies in her playpen in Princess Carolyn's apartment.]

Todd: [with male and female sockpuppets on his hands, in a high-pitched, female voice] "I looked into that case first chance I got and there was that note still tied there." That lion hadn't touched water in his life." [switches over to deeper-sounding voice to play a male character.] "Doesn't mean nothing, Alma." [switches back over to the female voice] "Don't try to fool me no more, Ennis. [angry tone] I know what it means." Jack twist, Jack nasty.

[There is a knock on the door, Ruthie lies on her back and coos]

Todd: [announcer's voice] The Sockpuppet Players' tribute to Ang Lee will continue after this.

[Todd walks off to answer the door to his stepfather, Jorge.]

Todd: [coldly, back to his normal voice] Oh, hello Jorge.

Jorge: I have some news. It's about your mother. [dramatic music plays]

Todd: [coldly, angrily] Oh, is the news that you're marrying her, inserting yourself into our family, and ruining my life? Because I already heard that news like twenty-five years ago, Jorge.

[Ruthie coos and is seen teething on the walls of her playpen]

Jorge: I didn't come to your home to fight.

Todd: Then jokes on you because you didn't come to my home at all. I just sleep on the couch...

Jorge: [sighs]

Todd: ...Since you and mom gave me the boot.

Jorge: That was ten years ago.

Todd: Which, by the way, is the only thing you ever gave me.

Jorge: I gave you my name, and you have clearly wasted it. Do you know what the Chavez name stands for?

Todd: [annoyed] Yes, Jorge.

[Jorge holds up a letter block and turns it around to spell out "CHAVEZ."]

Jorge: Chavez! C for cerebral! H for high-minded! A for analytical! V for veracious! E for efficacious! And Z for zealously practical.

[Todd lies on the sofa]

Todd: Feels like a cheat on the 'Z.'

Jorge: Todd, your mother needs your help.

Todd: Well, then instead of sending her husband, she should have asked me herself if it's so important to her.

Jorge: She's in a coma.

Todd: [sarcastically] A rudeness coma?

Jorge: No, a regular coma.

Todd: [realization, concern] Oh my god, why didn't you open with that?

Jorge: Please, your mother needs a kidney. I put her on the donor waiting list, but if you're a match...

Todd: Oh, I'm sorry. Of course, I would give Mom my kidney.

Jorge: Then there's no time to waste—

Todd: Would give her my kidney. Would. You need to work on your listening skills. I sold my extra kidney just last week. [lifts up hoodie to show Jorge his scar]

Jorge: Why?

Todd: I wanted to buy these sock puppets.

Jorge: You sold your kidney for—I'm sorry I came. If you would like to visit your mother she's—

Todd: Wait, what if instead of visiting my mother, we got my kidney back? [He picks up Ruthie from her playpen] Come on Ruthie! We're going on a field trip to the organ market!

[Ruthie coos] [Jorge groans]

[In the VIM foyer: Stormy skies are seen from outside the window, the office is deserted and messy. The dial tone of a phone that's not on its cradle can be heard, and a man sits and eats from a takeout container]

Scene 6: VIM (Princess Carolyn's Office)

[thunder rumbles]

[Lenny and Princess Carolyn meet in her office to discuss the assistant strike. Princess Carolyn is seated at her desk.]

Lenny: Princess Carolyn, this is a catastrophe.

Princess Carolyn: You know it. [She swipes a pile of papers off her desk and into a bin on the floor]

Lenny: This strike has shut down the whole city! Assistants want respect? If we respect them, how are we supposed to work through our rage issues? On our spouses and children? That doesn't seem fair.

Princess Carolyn: There's gotta be a better way! [she swipes more papers off her desk and then excitedly comes to a realization] Ugh, maybe we could circumvent giving the assistants what they want by giving them what they think they want. You know like how we satiate TV creators by giving them little vanity cards at the end of episodes, then sell the episodes to auto-skip the end credits so no one even sees the vanity cards.

Lenny: [smiling] Yeah, yeah that's good. But what do assistants want? iTunes gift cards? Amazon gift cards? I honestly can't think of another thing an assistant would want. [shrugs]

Princess Carolyn: When I was an assistant all I wanted was not to be an assistant anymore.

Lenny: Princess Carolyn, I'll say to you what I'll say to what I said to David Levy when were developing The Adams Family and brainstorming ancillary characters, like cousins and whatnot: That's it!

Scene 7: Elefante

[Mr. Peanutbutter is at the bar at Elefante when he is approached by Joey Pogo who is picking up his order]

Off-screen Man: [to Mr. Peanutbutter] Hey! Sad Dog!

Mr. Peanutbutter: [finger guns] ha, ha...You know it!!

Joey: [approaches Mr. Peanutbutter with his takeout] Wow, Mr. Peanutbutter, and Joey Pogo in the same room? What is this? Two days ago when I almost hit you with my car?

Mr. Peanutbutter: [chuckles] No, that was outside. [points to indicate "outside"]

Joey: [excitedly] Listen, I've been trying to get in touch with you. I got a call from this mental health advocacy group. Those guys have been "jizzing in their pants" over your heroic admission of your struggle with depression and they wanna help share your story with the world.

Mr. Peanutbutter: [perks his ears, interested] The world, huh?

Joey: [pulls out his phone] I wanted to set up a meeting, but my assistant went on strike, and phones, for me, are like whaaaat? [shrugs]

Mr. Peanutbutter: Even if you had your assistant it wouldn't do any good. [puts a hand on his chest, and gestures] My reps' assistants are all on strike too.

Joey: [sounding dissapointed] Oh, bummer guess there's no way to get in touch then. [grabs the takeout bag from the bar where he had left it]

Mr. Peanutbutter: [also sounding dissapointed] Too bad. I'd love to get together. [both look serious]

Scene 8: Pastiches Malibu (Hallway)

[BoJack walks out into the hallway from his room at Pastiches with his belongings and says goodbye as he is getting ready to go home from rehab.]

BoJack: Goodbye fancy room, goodbye chair, goodbye Stinky Susan. [Susan who is standing outside her door smells her underarms in confusion.]

[BoJack goes outside and sits in Cabracadabra cab.]

Human Female Driver: Where to?

BoJack: Um, home. I—I guess.

[They start driving and pass by Bellicans where BoJack recognizes Doctor Champ's van in the parking lot. Upon recognizing it he tells the cab driver to stop there.]

Scene 9: Bellicans

[parking lot]

BoJack: Woah, Woah, Woah. Hey! Stop the car! Let me out here.

Driver: Wow, already stopping for a drink?

BoJack: [sarcastically] Thank, you. Your commentary is very helpful.

Driver: Five stars, though right?

[BoJack picks his things, shuts car door, and groans and then he walks inside Bellicans.] [A disheveled Doctor Champ is seen drinking a margarita, BoJack sets his things down and approaches him.]

BoJack: [concerned] Doctor Champ, what are you doing?

Doctor Champ: [drunkenly] Okay, this mood about "never having a drop of alcohol again?" Are we sure about this?

BoJack: OK, Doctor Champ, clearly, you—

Doctor Champ: [talking over BoJack with his arms raised] I'm sitting here like "Whatever happened to moderation buddy?"

BoJack: So you're telling me the guiding philosophy of the six months of rehab I just paid for is complete bullshit?

Doctor Champ: [slurring words, touching BoJack's shoulder and face] Hey, man if it works for you, it works for you. As for me, uh check, please!

[bar tender places the check on the counter]

Doctor Champ: No, that's a figure of speech. I don't actually want a check. Please replenish me with another mar-gar. [He holds up his glass, gulps the whole glass down while BoJack stares at him]

Season 10: Mike and Morgan's House of Organs

[Tocatta and Fugue in D Minor playing on the organ] [Todd, Ruthie, and Jorge arrive at Mike and Morgan's House of Organs]

Mike: We handle all your matters from organs to bladders.

Morgan: Mike, give it a rest. [gestures to the musical instruments and then the box of actual body organs]

Todd: What's with all the boxes.

Mike: We're going out of business.

Todd: Oh, no.

Morgan: I told you we should just stick to the pianos. [her voice grows increasingly agitated] You wanted to expand into body parts.

Mike: You printed the sign that said for all your organ needs. I was just trying to keep us honest.

Jorge: Judging from the foolishness of your business plan, I assume you don't keep records, but we're trying to track down my son's kidney.

Morgan: Oh, sorry all of our kidneys went to Chicago. Jeremiah Whitewhale bought us out.

[organ music playing]

Jorge: Of Whitewhale Industries? Why?

Morgan: He's stockpiling organs because he's a rich old guy who wants to live forever.

[Todd playing the organ, Ruthie teething on her teething ring in baby carrier]

Todd: Oh, no!

Jorge: Well, this was a pointless excursion. I'm going back to the hospital.

Todd: [apologetic] I'm sorry I couldn't be more helpful.

Jorge: No, it's my fault for expecting anything different.

[bell of the door rings as Jorge walks out off screen]

Morgan: Can we offer you anything on your way out? You want a Wurlitzer or a spleen or an industrial size tub of general anesthesia.

[Mike wheels the tub of anesthesia on a dolly cart close to Todd and raises his eyebrows]

Todd: [conscidering, getting an idea] Yeah, give me the anesthesia.

Scene 11: Chicago, Illinois (Diane and Guy's Apartment)

[In the living room of their apartment Guy and Diane are sitting on the large sofa while Todd and an unconscious Jorge are seated on opposite recliners and Todd his feet propped up on an ottoman.]

[Jorge regains conciousness in Guy and Diane's apartment, his vision is blurry.]

Diane: You could sneak into the party as long as nobody's estranged husband who's a cop is visiting.

Jorge: [waking up] Huh? [He sits up in the recliner in the living room.]

Todd: Holiday party, huh?

Jorge: What? Where am I?

Todd: You're in Chicago! [enthusiastically, he gets up from his spot on the sofa]

Diane: [waves] Hi, I'm Dane. This is Guy. [puts her hand on Guy's chest]

Guy: How you doin'?

Diane: Oh! Are you ready for introductions or are you still processing the whole being kidnapped across state lines of it all?

Jorge: [angrily] I'm sorry, what?

Todd: [throws his arms in the air excitedly and puts them down again] We're breaking into the Whitewhale building!

Jorge: [stands up and puts his hands on his hips] Why?

Todd: [stands up on the ottoman and faces Jorge] To get my kidney back and save Mom and prove to you I'm not just a wacky screwup who engages primarily in goofy whimsical mess-arounds.

Jorge: How did you get me on the plane?

Todd: We did a Weekend at Bernie's.

[Todd scrolls through pictures on his phone of himself an unconscious Jorge wearing sunglasses checking through airport security, on the plane, and sightseeing.]

Jorge: [groans, shuts his eyes, and sits on the armrest of the recliner.]

Diane: As I was saying, tonight's the Whitewhale employee holiday party. Security will be tight, but you can use my employee ID to get in because I'm technically still on the payroll.

Guy: Wait, you didn't quit? We haven't worked there in months.

Diane: Nobody's noticed! They keep sending me checks. Cashing them is my way of gradually taking down the man from the inside.

Guy: C—can we sidebar for a minute?

[Cut to Diane and Guy standing in the bathroom]

Guy: Is this really the best use of your time? [he touches Diane's shoulder] You've been beating yourself about how slowly your book has been going so...

Diane: [pushes Guy away and touches his arm] ...But the book is about me and my life. So by living my life, I am in fact working on the book.

Guy: [shaking his head] You don't have to write this book at all if you don't want to.

Diane: [raises her hands in the air] Of course I want to.

Guy: Okay. I'm just saying since you've started, you've been pretty down. Not yourself. Diane—

Diane: Actually, "pretty down" is myself.

Guy: Diane—

Dane: [waving her hands in the air] Can we talk about this later? We're being rude to my guests. [she starts to leave the bathroom] Why don't you offer them one of your fancy beers.

[cut back to the living room Tood and Jorge discuss how to sneak into Whitewhale, Jorge sitting on the couch]

Todd: [pacing around the room] So, all we need to do to get into the party figure out where the kidneys are, find my kidney, and sneak out all without drawing attention to ourselves. [Guy and Diane enter the living room]

Guy: And be careful, because if Jeremiah Whitewhale catches you he can legally murder you. Now can I get anyone an imperial stout? The barley was sourced from Portland, Maine but the brewery is in Portland, Oregon!

Jorge: This plan is ludicrous.

Todd: Hey, maybe instead of criticizing everything like you've done my entire life, maybe you can get on board? It's gonna work out.

Jorge: Things don't just work out, Todd!

Todd: Of course they do! I don't know why you are so negative! [sits down on the sofa next to Jorge] Do you want to help Mom, or do you want to go back to the hospital and wait?

Jorge: [sighs] Okay, I'm in.

Scene 12: VIM Conference Room

[Lenny, Princess Carolyn, and Casey sit in the conference room]

Casey: I do not feel comfortable negotiating without my fellow assistants present.

Lenny: Yeah. This is not about that.

Casey: Good, because our demands haven't changed.

Princess Carolyn: Casey, it's been so thrilling to see you grow in your role as strike captain.

Lenny: [gasps] You know, there's an opening at my company for a development exec. I don't suppose you'd be interested?

Casey: Oh! Uh...I'd have to think about it. I never rea—

Lenny: You'd get overpaid to read scripts, company credit card, and a parking spot in the good garage.

Casey: Um...

Lenny: Plus, your own assistant.

Casey: An—assistant? [thunder rumbles outside]

Princess Carolyn: That is, of course, if the strike ends.

Casey: [giggling nervously] Well, that is a very generous offer, but I'd have to talk it over with my colleagues.

Princess Carolyn: Why? Those are assistants. You're not one of them anymore. You're one of us.

Lenny: [sliding Casey the contract from across the table] It's a two-year contract. Sign right there and all your troubles are over.

Casey: [She exhails and shrieksheavily before signing the contract]

[Princess Carolyn and Lenny cackle]

Casey: What's so funny?

Lenny: I was just remembering a joke unrelated to this.

Casey: [she gets up] Can you tell me what is?

Lenny: You wouldn't get it. It's about Zsa Zsa Gabor, and it's no longer appropriate in today's climate.

[Princess Carolyn starts ushering Casey towards the door]

Princess Carolyn: You've made the right decision. You're gonna love your new job.

Lenny: Welcome to the team, Stacey.

Casey: It's Casey—[Princess Carolyn slams the door on her face]

[Later, Princess Carolyn and Lenny look at photos of the assistants and circle a photo of a rabbit man with red marker]

Scene 13: Street

[Princess Carolyn and Lenny set up a trap with a carrot, a wooden box, a tree branch, and a piece of string on the sidewalk to catch the rabbit man who is walking in the rain with his umbrella. They grab him and pull him in a red van.]

[Back Seat of the van]

Princess Carolyn: Sign here to run development for Saoirse Ronan's production company Saorise and Rescue.

[Rabbit man signs the contract]

[Back at VIM Princess Carolyn and Lenny circle the picture of a reptile woman] [At a restaurant Princess Carolyn has Ruthie in her lap and is seated with the woman]

Woman: [with tears in her eyes] I can't be an assistant anymore. Shirley MacLane threw a cactus at my head because I set a meeting with the wrong Steve McQueen! How was I supposed to know she meant the dead one?

Princess Carolyn: Shhh. It's okay. Just sign here and orchestrate your own great escape. [Ruthie feeds Princess Carolyn a french fry.]

[Back at VIM Princess Carolyn and Lenny then circle a picture of Stewart.]

Lenny: Ohh.

Scene 14: Whitewhale Building

[Todd and Jorge stand outside of the Whitewhale building]

Todd: Okay, I'm going in.

Jorge: Todd, promise me you'll be perspicacious in there.

Todd: Perspicacious? [puts on a red bowtie] I don't know the meaning of the word.

Jorge: [groans]

[Todd walks up to the door and shows the shark man Diane's ID card]

Man: You're Diane?

Todd: Yes!

Man: Nguyen

Todd: That is correct!

Man: I find that hard to believe.

Todd: Wow, that's racist. People don't always look like their last names. For example, I'm white and my last name is Chavez.

Man: I thought your last name was Nguyen.

Todd: [nervously] Oh! Uh, yeah, it is. Todd Nguyen!

Man: Not Diane Nguyen?

Todd: Oh, yeah! Diane Nguyen. That's me alright or my name isn't Todd Chavez.

[Todd is standing next to Jorge again.]

Todd: Well, that was a bust. Okay, this time, you're Diane and I'll be Jorge.

Jorge: [He sees trash can and gets an idea] Todd, get in the trash can.

Todd: I know I'm a disappointment to you, but I do not live in a trash can, Jorge and I haven't for several years now.

Jorge: [Picks up Todd and puts him in the trash can.]

Todd: Hey!

[Jorge wheels the trash can to the door and starts speaking to the shark man in Spanish. He points, indicating that he wants to get inside the building.]

Man: Uh, what? Sorry, I...

[Todd peeks out from the trash can lid]

Jorge: [continues speaking Spanish]

Man: Uh, go ahead.

[Inside of the building the party is underway. Todd and Jorge successfully manage to enter.]

Todd: Wow, that was amazing.

Jorge: No. That was logical and straightforward.

Scene 15: Bellicans

[BoJack is standing by the bar]

BoJack: [to the bartender] Another club soda, please.

Doctor Champ: [slurred speech, calling out from his table] Nerd!

BoJack: [concerned] Doctor Champ, what is your plan?

Doctor Champ: Just gotta drink enough to be steady. [BoJack walks from the bar with his club soda and sits down next to Doctor Champ.] Then you take me back to Pastiches and keep me out of trouble. That way you don't have to go home and I can be a good therapy horse. All my clients get sober, I'm a winner, put my picture on a magazine. [Doctor Champ slurps his margarita]

BoJack: Look, I can't let you go back there drunk.

Doctor Champ: You don't care about me! You're scared of this guy. [He touches BoJack's face and then gets up and starts walking towards the bar.] You can't help anyone else unless you are honest with yourself. Know what I mean?

BoJack: [gets up and follows Doctor Champ to the bar] No. I never know what you mean. In fact, maybe I wouldn't be so scared if you'd given me real therapy over the last six months instead of just plying me with a bunch of folksy aphorisms.

Doctor Champ: I'm not a therapist, I'm a therapy horse, a subtle but legally important distinction. Besides, you wouldn't accept real therapy from me.

BoJack: Oh, and why's that?

Doctor Champ: Gee, I don't know maybe it's because I'm a horse, so I remind you of your father, so you simultaneously resent me and crave my approval, an approval which ironically if granted—

BoJack: [He cuts Doctor Champ off] Yeah, yeah. I would dismiss immediately and then use as an excuse to resent you even more, what's your point?

Doctor Champ: My point is you're stunted from having healthy relationships with horses, idiot! [he stands up and slumps back down on the booth]

BoJack: Oh, really? Well, if that were true, I would have almost no other horses in my life.

Doctor Champ: Right, it's as if all your friends are humans or dogs or cats—

BoJack: But wait then how do you explain the one horse I do care about my half-sister Hollyhock, who is also a reminder of my father? If your theory is true, wouldn't I keep her at arms' length, desperate for her to love me but unwilling to be vulnerable enough to allow her to hurt me?

Doctor Champ: You blockhead, she's not your father. Hollyhock reminds you of the horse you hate the most. [Doctor Champ gets into BoJack's face] Yourself.

BoJack: Okay, you got me. My parents gave me an internalized self-hatred of horses. So my horse body is a prison that I can never escape. This manifests in rotten behavior because I subconsciously believe I deserve to be punished, but being famous, I'm never punished so I act out even more. And since this pattern is so woven into my identity it is unfathomable to me that it can be curbed, so instead, I drink!

Doctor Champ: [slurred speech, his head on the table] Uh...check, please!

BoJack: So the only way I can progress is to return to life as a sober man and finally hold myself accountable for my actions past, and future. [raises his hands in the air] Oh, my god, is this what therapy is?

[Pelican waiter walks to Doctor Champ's table and hands him a check]

Doctor Champ: [lifts up his head and looks at the check] Why do you keep bringing me checks? [glasses clink as he puts his head down]

BoJack: Uhh...Doctor Champ?

Scene 16: Whitewhale Building (Kidney Storage Warehouse)

[Todd and Jorge exit the elevator and enter the kidney warehouse.]

Todd: Wow.

[They are startled by a security guard.]

Security Guard: [He attempts to block them from entering the area] Sorry folks! [Todd and Jorge gasp.] This floor's off-limits.

Todd: Oh, but...

Jorge: Oh, thank God you're here. I saw someone at the buffet putting ketchup on a hot dog.

Security Guard: What? Not in my town! [He gets into the elevator and the door shuts behind him.]

Todd: Wow, you are really good at this.

Jorge: Let's go!

Todd: [gasps, he heads towards the control machine] Ooh, wow. Hmm. [He scrolls through the touch screen menu] Oh, look. People who selected kidneys may also enjoy small intestines.

Jorge: Just the kidney. We don't need to be up-sold on other innards.

Todd: Yes, sir. [Todd pushes a button so the machine can select his kidney. Jorge walks past Todd and they both look out the window to where the kidneys are stored.]

Jorge: Thank you for...[clears throat] this. Uh. Once your mother is okay, we will never bother you again. I know that's what you want. [kidney claw machine heard in the background]

Todd: Why would I want that?

Jorge: [shrugs]

Todd: [pointing at Jorge] You never understood me.

Jorge: I raised you as my own flesh. I was tough on you because I expected big things from you.

Todd: You weren't tough. You were mean.

Jorge: Because the world is mean.

Todd: Not my world.

Jorge: I wanted so much for you, Todd. I wanted to push you to be your best self and now I see now that I failed you.

Todd: Well, you didn't fail me because I'm not a failure.

Jorge: Look... [sighs] Okay, Todd.

Todd: Why do you need to be proud of me on your terms? Why can't you see I have a good life? I have friends. I have a job—

Jorge: You sleep on the couch and play with puppets all day.

Todd: I'm happy Jorge. What more do you want from me?

Jorge: I want to know that you are okay!

Todd: Then why haven't you called in ten years?

Jorge: You don't think I wanted to? I'm not the one who—

Todd: What?

Jorge: She loves you, your mother. But she's very proud. If you called her, she would talk to you.

Todd: Well, she can't talk now, because she's in a coma right?

Jorge: [sighs sadly] Yeah.

[From the parking garage Diane watches the shadows of Jorge and Todd through a pair of binoculars]

Diane: What are they talking about? [she sees the security guard returning on the elevator] —oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit [she punches keys on the walkie-talkie] Chavezes! You got company! Do you read me?

[Guy picks up walkie talkie which is revealed to have been left in the dish rack in the kitchen]

Diane: (over walkie talkie) Hello? Hello?

Guy: Diane? Why is there a walkie-talkie in our kitchen?

Diane: Goddamit!

Male Garage Attendant: Excuse me? This garage is for shopping customers only.

Diane: [groans] Ugh. Okay. Fine. I'll buy a pretzel.

Garage Attendant: Or you could just leave.

Diane: No, now I want the pretzel.

Guy: (over walkie talkie) Hey, Diane get me a pretzel too, please. Love you, okay?

[Back in kidney wearhouse, the security guard is back on his way up]

Jorge: [gasps] Someone's coming. We have to go.

Todd: I'm not going until I get my kidney. [points to the box containing his kidney]

Jorge: Todd, this is serious.

Todd: Yes, I understand you are very serious. You read serious books and listen to Sirius XM.

Jorge: We have to go right now.

Todd: Hey!

Jorge: Why do you always fight me.

[Jorge and Todd wrestle]

Todd: Why do you always try to make me leave places?

[Security guard comes off of the elevator.]

Security Guard: Hey! Stay right where you are!

Todd: Um...

[Todd and Jorge both sigh and put their hands up]