The Horny Unicorn is the thirteenth episode of Season 6 of the Netflix original series BoJack Horseman, and the 73rd episode overall. It premiered with the rest of Part 2 of Season 6 on January 31, 2020.
The episode starts with BoJack driving in his car and attempting to leave Hollyhock a voicemail but he can't reach her. Meanwhile, everyone in town acts hostile towards BoJack months after his second interview with Biscuits Braxby comes out. It is revealed he settled with Sarah Lynn's family in court for five million dollars, and his offer to return to Wesleyan was withdrawn.
At VIM, Todd and Maude convince Princess Carolyn to let them open a daycare for the office employees. Princess Carolyn tells Todd they can carpool and Maude and Todd announce they are moving in together. Princess Carolyn congratulates them.
On the set of Birthday Dad, Mr. Peanutbutter is filming a scene and he gets his lines wrong. Princess Carolyn walks up to him and asks if everything is all right. He tells her is just distracted as he feels lonely in his big house after Pickles left. He then asks how Princess Carolyn manages being alone and she tells him she just takes it one day at a time. Mr. Peanutbutter then tells her he went to see his doctor in order see if he could make him feel better. His doctor tells him the Sad Dog meme always cheers him up however, Mr. Peanutbutter told his doctor he is Sad Dog.
BoJack walks into the AA meeting where everybody is hostile towards him. He then volunteers himself to speak and says that most people hate him and also he lost five million dollars and that he could probably use a new sponsor, which is met by glares and more hostility. He then remarks that the AA meeting is a tough room.
As BoJack is walking out of the meeting, he is approached by Vance Waggoner who volunteers to be his sponsor. Vance tells him he's been in the same position as BoJack and everyone abandoned him. He then gives BoJack his phone number.
In Chicago, Diane is sitting at the mall with an advanced readers' edition of Ivy Tran, her new middle-grade fiction book, and working on the revisions. She then gets a call from Princess Carolyn who asks her how the revisions are going. Diane tells her they are going well and usually by this stage she hates everything she has ever written. However, she feels like this book isn't terrible. Princess Carolyn asks about writing a sequel.
Diane says that while she had fun working on this book she's a grown-up writer, and tries to tell Princess Carolyn about her interest in Eleanor Roosevelt. Princess Carolyn cuts her off and then tells Diane that if she's interested in books that people will actually read she'll write the Ivy Tran sequel.
BoJack is sitting at home in his living room watching TV when he gets a phone call from Gaz his accountant and his lawyer Chaz. Chaz and Gaz tell BoJack the good news is that the Sarah Lynn settlement isn't going to kill them, but the bad news is he is being sued for a hundred million dollars by the Xerox company for their brand name being implicated in his untoward behavior in the Biscuits interview. BoJack then asks what their next move is and Gaz tells him it's funny he mentioned the word "move."
The doorbell rings and BoJack finds out his home has been sold to another family. BoJack is then handed his mail by the real estate agent as he is being kicked out. BoJack goes through the mail and sees a letter from Hollyhock. After holding it up to the sun his hands start to shake and he looks around nervously. He then tucks the envelope in his jacket pocket before walking away from his former home.
At Todd and Maude's new apartment they set their duffle bags down and declare themselves moved in. Todd then decides to call his mother. His step-father Jorge picks up the phone and asks Todd if he can take a message as his mother is resting. Todd then tells Jorge he wants to tell his mother he has nothing to prove to her as he now has a stable job and has moved into his new apartment.
Jorge tells Todd that's wonderful and they would love to see his home once he's settled. Todd then angrily tells him he is settled and invites Jorge and his mother to his sophisticated, grown-up housewarming party. Jorge then asks what they can bring to the party and Todd tells him they can bring two chairs before hanging up.
At VIM, BoJack tells Princess Carolyn he needs a job offer, to which she bluntly tells there are no offers for him. BoJack begs her for help because he's broke and homeless, and she finally tells him she can get him a small role on Birthday Dad. BoJack then tells her to have his pages delivered at the fancy hotel he's staying at. Princess Carolyn then tells him he's not staying at a fancy hotel because he just told her he's broke and homeless. BoJack then questions who else would have him.
There is then a cut to Mr. Peanutbutter at the front door of his house enthusiastically telling BoJack he can live with him forever.
The next morning BoJack wakes up to Mr. Peanutbutter cooking breakfast. Mr. Peanutbutter tells BoJack he took the liberty of doing his laundry for him and found a letter in his jacket pocket, which initially makes BoJack panic before Mr. Peanutbutter mentions he took the letter out before doing the wash. BoJack explains that the letter is from Hollyhock and he can't open it because he's afraid she'll tell him she never wants to speak to him or see him again.
BoJack then once again tries to call Hollyhock and then leaves her a voicemail and tells her he hasn't read her letter yet, but he will, and that it's nice to hear her voice on her voicemail. Mr. Peanutbutter asks BoJack if he's ready to go. BoJack then asks about breakfast and Mr. Peanutbutter tells him they don't have time for that and BoJack can feed him on the way.
At VIM, Todd walks in with Ruthie and the other babies he is nannying for and asks Judah for advice on what he should do about the sophisticated party he is throwing to impress his parents. He tells Judah he has no sophisticated friends or furniture in his new apartment. Judah then offers Todd a "What Would Todd Do" in this situation advice.
Judah tells Todd that he would scour VIM's talent list for underemployed actors and tell them they've been hired for a site-specific theater piece as cosmopolitan partygoers. He would then invite just enough real friends to lend it to an air of legitimacy and then raid the Birthday Dad set for furniture. Todd then declares he is brilliant and has done it again.
On the set of Birthday Dad, BoJack and Mr. Peanutbutter are filming a war scene, and BoJack is cast as a dead soldier. In between takes, Mr. Peanutbutter remarks how much fun they are having filming together. BoJack is then told he needs to move his head away from the camera by the director. After BoJack is done filming for the day he asks Mr. Peanutbutter if he wants to get dinner. Mr. Peanutbutter then tells him he has five more scenes to shoot for the day and then after work he is going to Todd's fancy party.
After Mr. Peanutbutter walks away BoJack once again pulls out Hollyhock's unopened letter from his jacket, looks at it, and his hands shake. He then again puts it back in his pocket unopened. BoJack then calls Vance who answers the phone and sounds excited to hear from him.
At Todd's apartment, he has the furniture delivered and prepares the actors playing the guests for what they should say.
Outside, Mr. Peanutbutter runs into Princess Carolyn and Judah and tells them sadly he is giving away Pickles' favorite alcoholic energy drink seeing that he doesn't need it anymore, as Pickles no longer lives with him. After Mr. Peanutbutter walks inside Princess Carolyn points out that they forgot to bring a gift and Judah tells her they can share the two gifts he brought and say they are from both of them.
At the diner, BoJack gets dinner with Vance. He shows Vance Hollyhock's letter and tells him he is scared to open it and as long as he doesn't open it Hollyhock is still in his life. Vance tells BoJack it's good to have people in his life to remind him of why he's sober and that's what his daughter is for him.
The cow waitress then hands BoJack his moldy sandwich and tells him the chef made it just for him. Inside the moldy sandwich is a note that reads "DROP DEAD" in block red letters. BoJack looks up to see the other diner patrons glaring at him.
BoJack then asks Vance if he has a horn because people keep looking at him like he's a freak. Vance then tells BoJack if that's the case he's the ugliest unicorn he has ever seen. This then leads them to make jokes about this which leads to the idea of "The Horny Unicorn."
Vance is convinced to turn this into a movie, with him as the director and BoJack as the titular unicorn, but BoJack is unsure as he's not exactly the guy people want to see in movies right now. Vance then tells him people don't want to see him as Secretariat or raising orphans but they would love to see him in a movie being a rude character saying things that polite society does not have the courage to say. He tells BoJack this is how he gets adoration back and finds his way back in because deep down the Horny Unicorn character is wounded and misunderstood—it's not his fault he is the way he is and people are going to see that. Vance tells him he knows BoJack needs the money and asks when will he stop punishing himself. BoJack then smiles at this.
In Chicago, Sonny and his friends are playing video games in Diane and Guy's apartment. Diane comes in and asks where the advanced readers' copy of her book is. Sonny tells her he would never read it because it's a book for girl babies, which his friends laugh at. Diane then tells him to let her know if he's seen it as she needs to get the revisions to her publisher. Sonny retorts that sounds like a "her" problem before she walks off.
BoJack and Vance show up at Todd and Maude's apartment with a plant as a gift. Maude answers the door and gets Todd. Todd tells BoJack he can't risk anything happening at the party because he hasn't seen his mom in ten years. BoJack asks what Todd thinks is going to happen and Todd replies he doesn't know as BoJack is always dealing with his own stuff. BoJack replies he is now sober and nothing will happen. Vance drops the plant and Todd tells BoJack he'll see him around before shutting the door. Vance then remarks they paid thirty bucks for the plant.
In the car, BoJack asks Vance what he's supposed to do. He knows he has made mistakes but wonders if that implies he needs to go away forever. Vance then tells BoJack this is the part when he figures out who his real friends are and leaving behind all the people who can't stop seeing him for his past mistakes, and they need to make The Horny Unicorn because it'll make a billion dollars and drive all those people crazy. BoJack finally admits it would be good to have something to keep him busy.
Vance then gets a text from his daughter and tells BoJack she's in trouble, and they need to go to his daughter's college campus. BoJack tells him he doesn't want to go to a college campus seeing that he wants to keep a low profile right now. Vance then tells BoJack his daughter is the one thing keeping him sober and that he was there when BoJack needed him. BoJack finally says he's in.
In Chicago, Diane is playing video games when Sonny walks in. He hands her the advanced readers' copy of her book. Diane asks Sonny if he read it and he tells her he has been reading it. He then tells her he wasn't going to say so in front of his friends but he finds the story to be unrealistic. Diane questions what he means.
He tells her the character Ivy Tran lives in Schaumberg, which is not in Chicago. Diane tells him it's not too late to change it. Sonny then asks her questions about the book and if those situations are real and Diane confirms they are. He then tells her he thinks it'll be great for girls with low self-esteem. Sonny then asks her when the next one is coming out and she tells him if she gets started right away it should be out by next fall.
Vance and BoJack head to Vance's daughter's college. Vance then yells out for his daughter, Jagger. Jagger opens her dorm window and questions why her father is here. Vance then yells at her for liking one of her mother's Instagram posts with her new boyfriend.
A male student on campus recognizes BoJack and he walks off. Vance and Jagger continue to argue while the student tells BoJack he believes that BoJack got massively sandbagged in the interview with Biscuits. The student tells BoJack he recognizes he was trying to apologize and that the campus is a safe space. He then invites BoJack to come with him to the Delta house saying the guys there would be "super stoked" to meet him.
Vance approaches them and says his daughter sucks and he's ready to go. BoJack then says they should make one more stop.
At Todd's apartment, Jorge calls Todd to let him know he and his mother will not be attending the party as his mother is still recovering from surgery. Jorge thanks him for the invitation and says he's sorry they weren't able to make it. Todd tells Jorge he's trying to connect with his mother and he encourages Todd to keep trying.
BoJack and Vance are at a frat party when Vance says he wants to escort a girl back to her dorm, and they'll set up The Horny Unicorn tomorrow. A student takes a picture of BoJack on his phone and BoJack says he shouldn't be at the party. He heads outside where he tries to call Hollyhock again and finds out her number has been disconnected. He then pulls out her letter and finally reads it. He sadly sighs as he drops Hollyhock's letter on the porch and heads back inside. While the contents are never shown or read out loud, it's clear Hollyhock cut ties with BoJack.
The episode ends with BoJack sitting on the couch while the party goes on around him and various people are taking pictures of him. BoJack then winds up with a bottle of alcohol in hand and then he looks at it.
|Will Arnett||...||BoJack Horseman|
|Amy Sedaris||...||Princess Carolyn|
|Alison Brie||...||Diane Nguyen|
|Paul F. Tompkins||...||Mr. Peanutbutter|
|Aaron Paul||...||Todd Chavez|
|Diedrich Bader||...||Judah Mannowdog|
|Samantha Bee||...||Samantha Bee|
|Rhyon Nicole Brown||...||TBA|
|Jaime Camil||...||Jorge Chavez|
|Bobby Cannavale||...||Vance Waggoner|
- BoJack gets a letter from Hollyhock, which has a return address from Wesleyan University where she's studying. However, the address is from Middleton, whereas Wesleyan is actually located in Middletown. This could be a play on dropping one letter from Hollywood to make Hollywoo. The dorm "Bradley Whitford" from the envelope does not exist, although Bradley Whitford (of West Wing fame) did attend Wesleyan. The displayed zip code 06459 is correct for the campus.
- This is the last episode Hollyhock is mentioned or heard from.
- Mr. Peanutbutter mentions it has been three months since BoJack’s interviews with Biscuits Braxby.
- Mr. Peanutbutter's joke about the "Sad Dog" meme is a reference to an old joke "But, Doctor, I am Grimaldi the Clown."
- Samantha Bee appears as an "Animalism" of herself as an actual bee, hosting her show on T-Bee-S, a parody of actual cable channel TBS. The Photoshopped graphic also uses the frequently seen "sneezing picture" of BoJack.
- This is the last episode of the series to play Back in the 90's during the end credits.
- It is revealed Vance’s daughter is named Jagger.
- Vance Waggoner’s phone number is 555-555-8008, which upside-down "spells" "boobssssss."
- Sharona is not present at the AA meeting, likely due to BoJack throwing her under the bus during his second interview with Biscuits Braxby when interrogated about Sarah Lynn getting drunk on the Horsin’ Around set, and outing Sharona as an alcoholic in the process.
- During the scene where Princess Carolyn is talking to Diane on the phone, Courtney Portnoy is seen in the background of the studio the former is at, wearing a blue and white spandex suit and blue lipstick.
- At one of BoJack's AA meetings, Leo the lion gives BoJack the bras d'honneur, an obscene gesture used throughout much of Europe, equivalent to giving someone the finger, or up yours/shove it up your ass.