These are the quotes said by Rutabaga Rabitowitz
Season 2[]
Brand New Couch[]
Princess Carolyn: Well, if it isn't my friend, Rutabaga, the boy prince of the 26th floor.
Rutabaga: Carolyn. How are things all the way up on 27? Stomp once for good, twice for killing it.
Princess Carolyn: (does it twice)
Rutabaga: Killing. Give me some gossip. My wife is making me go to the opera tonight and I need something to distract me from the thought of a bunch of D-bags singing songs in German about their boners.
Princess Carolyn: Okay, you gotta keep this close to the vest but I am inches from getting Emily VanCamp the lead in Goose Van Sant's new movie about Jackie O.
Rutabaga: My clients would've lo-huh I-ip if I got them parts like that. You're seriously killing it in the department of kicking ass in regards to you being an agent and being good at it, {vis-a-vis} crushing it.
Princess Carolyn: You're not so bad yourself, Rutabaga, for a 26er.
Rutabaga: You're the only one in this building who isn't a total snooze-cooze. Yes, Natasha, I'm talking about you. I know you're listening. Ugh. I gotta go. I made Natasha cry.
Princess Carolyn: (chuckles)
Princess Carolyn: Wait— No—
Charley: Gotta go. Bye.
Rutabaga: Carolyn.
Princess Carolyn: Rutabaga, this is not a good time.
Rutabaga: Okay. Can I please just tell you about the opera, though?
Princess Carolyn: How did you like the opera?
Rutabaga: I loved it. Loved Tristan, loved Isolde, cried like a bunny. Listen, my brain has been a-buzzing for the past few days thinking about that Jackie O movie. I know it's your baby, but I did make a few calls and got my Rooney a screen test.
Princess Carolyn: I put that movie together for my client.
Rutabaga: No, no, no, don't freak out. It's just a screen test. But, honestly, how fantaj would my Rooney be as a young Jackie Bouv? Stomp once for so fantaj, twice for stupid-fantaj. Carolyn? I only heard one stomp. Oh. Carolyn, I heart you. You're beautiful. I wish I met you before I got married.
Princess Carolyn: —
Out to Sea[]
- Rutabaga: (to Princess Carolyn) All right, you ready? This is Go Time. There's no turning back now.
- Princess Carolyn: Oh, I am ready.
- Rutabaga: Great. Now let's get out there and tell all those garbage rat bastard sons of bastards what we really think of them, once and for all. ... Everyone. We have an announcement. Guys, we have an announcement.
- Princess Carolyn: What's going on?
- Laura: Mr.Witherspoon's in the hospital.
- Charley: He had a stroke.
- Princess Carolyn: Oh.
- Rutabaga: Well, you know what you rat bastards can stroke?
- All: Uh Oh.
- Rutabaga: My big, hairy...
- [scene cuts to elevator]
- Princess Carolyn: Well, we burned that bridge
- Rutabaga: Carolyn, we are free.
- Princess Carolyn: Yeah.
- Rutabaga: Real quick, kiss me once. Then kiss me twice.
- Princess Carolyn: I don't want to do that anymore.
- Rutabaga: I told you, we can make this work
- Princess Carolyn: No. I don't want
- Rutabaga: Carolyn, you're a single woman in your 40s. Can you really afford to be picky?
- Princess Carolyn: What?!
- Rutabaga: I'm just saying, what, you think you're gonna find some perfect unattached guy who's gonna love you like I do? Who's gonna make you laugh and feel good about yourself? This is it, Carolyn, this is what you get. And if you're holding out for something better, well, I hate to break it to you, but you're gonna be alone for a long time.
- Princess Carolyn: I'm not afraid of being alone. And you might wanna find someplace else to work because you're not coming with me.
- Rutabaga: Wait, wait, wait, what?
- Princess Carolyn: It's my company. My name is on all the paperwork. I think I can do it without you. Good luck.
- Rutabaga: Whoa, Carolyn, we just—Come—Carolyn.
- Princess Carolyn: My name is Princess Carolyn. [she emphasizes the word "Princess" in her name]
Season 3[]