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Look, take it from someone with his own shitty parents. Family is a sinkhole, and you were right to get out when you had the chance.

BoJack Horseman to Diane Nguyen


Introduction

Live Fast, Diane Nguyen is the fifth episode of Season 1 of Netflix original series BoJack Horseman. Live Fast, Diane Nguyen, along with the rest of Season 1, premiered August 22, 2014.

Synopsis[]

A business trip for BoJack and Diane takes a detour; Todd runs a scam that gets him in trouble.

Plot[]

BoJack and Diane travel to New York to meet with Pinky Penguin, where he has relocated to avoid creditors while waiting for BoJack to finish his book.

During their meeting, Pinky asks how the book progress is coming along. BoJack tells Pinky it's coming along great he is telling heartfelt anecdotes and Diane is "spinning them into gold." When Diane leaves the room to answer her phone, BoJack tells Pinky she's not working out for him because he believes she's too functional and not damaged enough to tell his story.

Pinky frantically asks him what he's talking about, telling him his book needs to be on shelves, and making money by October.

Diane then comes back into the room and says she received a call from her brother Tommy about their father's passing. BoJack and Pinky give their condolences and say they are sorry. Diane remarks that her father was old and also the worst. She is unfazed, much to BoJack's surprise, and she asks BoJack to come with her to Boston to pay respects before heading back to Los Angeles.

Todd is alone in BoJack's house making scrambled eggs for himself when he reads a note BoJack left him telling him not to make a mess or do anything and to pick him up from the airport the next day. Todd sneezes and drops the egg he is holding on the floor. He then declares that the seal is broken, and he might as well enjoy himself.

He then proceeds to jump on BoJack's bed and make a mess, riding a bike in the living room, and dressing up in BoJack's clothes and a pillow as himself pretending to be BoJack saying that he loves their friendship.

Later, Todd is climbing on a ladder outside of BoJack's house and a tour bus comes by, and the tour guide says that that the house is David Boreanaz's house to those on the tour. Todd tells them they have the wrong house. A lady on the tour bus says she would have paid fifty dollars if David Boreanaz actually lived there. Hearing this Todd tells them in that case, this is David Boreanaz's house and invites them in.

On their way to the Nguyen family home, BoJack tells Diane he's not really good with death or funerals. She responds that it's fine and he can wait in the car also stating it's best he doesn't meet her brothers as they are "mean-spirited dirtbags." BoJack then tells her he would have loved to have brothers growing up, as life as an only child can get pretty lonely.

There is a flashback to BoJack as a child where he is asking his father Butterscotch Horseman if he wants to meet his imaginary friend. Butterscotch tells young BoJack "imaginary friends are freeloaders to rip-off welfare" and to bang his head against the wall until his brain isn't so stupid. Younger BoJack then walks off sadly saying "Okay, daddy" in response.

Diane admits that she was pretty lonely growing up too saying her family made her life miserable and then they never forgave her for leaving. BoJack then questions if Diane is like the black sheep and she tells him that her brother Gary is the black sheep and he was adopted. Diane then says she's just the member of the family that nobody likes and her dad was the worst of them all.

BoJack then questions this, saying Diane previously told him she and her father used to sit on the roof and look at stars together. Diane then explains that was an old writers' trick she used simply to get him to open up. BoJack then tells her that hurts his feelings. Diane then says the truth is that she used to go down by the city dump and dream she was Chelsea Clinton but with her hair. BoJack remarks she does have good hair and Diane responds that she knows.

They reach the Nguyen home and Diane hands BoJack a kaleidoscope to play with and he tells her he's not five, however, he quickly gets mesmerized by the bright shapes and colors.

When Diane arrives at her family's home in Boston, her family is revealed to be crass, rude, and obsessed with sports. She walks in the door and her brother Tommy comes running out from the kitchen announcing she's home and calling the rest of her brothers. Her brother Marty is way too distracted to acknowledge Diane's presence in the house and he tells her he is watching the game. Diane then reminds him it's the game from '86 and he's seen it a hundred times.

Diane's brothers Artie and Tommy tell her their father is "wicked departed." Diane's mother then comes out from the kitchen and starts berating her daughter as soon as she sees her. Diane explains she is only there to give her condolences and her mother says it's convenient that she is "in and out like a Protestant on Christmas." Marty then tells the family to stop fighting during the game as it is "bad juju."

Diane's mother then says Diane thinks she is too good for the family as she now lives in fancy California. Diane's mother then tries to make her feel guilty for leaving and Diane says this was a huge mistake as she heads for the door. Tommy convinces her to stay as they need help with the funeral arrangements.

To Diane's shock and horror, the brothers then reveal their father's corpse is on a chair with ice and they explain to Diane they didn't know he was dead and just thought he was hungover.

At BoJack's house, Todd is running his David Boreanaz scam. His conscience tries telling him it's a bad idea. Todd then gets a phone call from Princess Carolyn saying she wants in on the David Boreanaz deal and asks if he ever thought about attaching Mila Kunis to this project. Todd questions how and Princess Carolyn tells him she'll do her job and he should just focus on his.

In Boston, BoJack finally gets bored with the kaleidoscope and calls out for Diane. Inside, Diane and the family are arguing. BoJack then decides to get out of the car and go inside the house. BoJack then asks if anyone can speak Engish and the brothers get excited over having a famous TV star in their home.

At BoJack's house, Princess Carolyn and Todd continue to run their scam and have attached Mila Kunis to their project as an attraction in the kitchen.

Screen Shot 2019-03-03 at 3.20

"Cryanne" video

In Boston, BoJack manages to bond with the brothers and Diane calls a funeral service to pick up the body of their father. BoJack asks them if they want to play touch football later which they enthusiastically agree to. They then tell BoJack about the "Cryanne video" where they wrote letters to Diane from an imaginary pen pal named Leo and then hired a hobo to take Diane to homecoming and got Diane's reaction on tape.

BoJack remarks that's a good prank and Diane says she was humiliated. Tommy then says it's nice they can all laugh about this and Diane says her therapist thinks the same thing. Diane then tells them she's going to the funeral home and asks the brothers if they want to come and they refuse. Diane then takes BoJack with her to the funeral home.

At BoJack's house, Todd is giving tours. He shows the visitors "David Boreaniz's room" where "David Boreanaz" is sleeping.

Diane and BoJack then go to Maggot & Sons Funeral Home where Diane explains to Bob Maggot that her father was "a mean, sadistic alcoholic who actively delighted in seeing [her] fail." Bob then offers her the "Piece of Shit Dad" package, which Diane responds would be too good for her father. Bob then offers her the "Piece of Shit Dad package would be too good for him package." Diane then agrees that's the one.

Once they are alone BoJack advises Diane she could loosen up a little and maybe she could learn a thing or to from her brothers. Diane then tells him if she was like her brothers, she'd never get anything done. BoJack then gets a call from The Paparazzi Birds who are trying to blackmail him using compromising pictures of him and Sarah Lynn. However, they cannot reach him, as he does not answer his phone.

They show up at BoJack's house where Princess Carolyn tells them they need to pay. Princess Carolyn tells Todd they need to make more money and Todd wonders how he ended up with so much responsibility.

After Diane makes arrangements to throw her father a funeral, none of her family shows up, and her father's corpse is absent. It turns out her family is lounging at a bar and had chummed their father's corpse with the intent to throw his remains in the face of their hated baseball rival team's star, Derek Jeter.

Calling Diane a big shot for getting upset at their low expectations, BoJack tactlessly defends Diane by bluntly describing her career and living situation, saying she is not a big shot. Diane then flies into a rage and drives off with the truck holding her father's chummed remains.

BoJack finds Diane at the city dump, where he consoles her by telling her the ways he appreciates her. He also apologizes to her for what he said about her to her family at the bar. She responds with "Well, it's all true isn't it?" He then hands her a letter from "Leo" the same penpal her brothers made up to play a cruel prank on her when she was a teenager, claiming he found it at the bar. In it, "Leo" tells Diane he appreciates how she's always organized to go places, chews gum on airplanes so that her ears don't pop, and brings her own bags to the grocery store.

BoJack then reassures Diane that she does not need to find closure or appreciation from her family since they are horrible to her and that she should concentrate on moving forward and focusing her life on where she's living and simply not come back to her family.

He ends by saying her father can no longer hurt anyone and proceeds to knock the barrel of Diane's father's chummed remains out of the truck and tumbling into the city. The barrel narrowly collides with Derek Jeter himself but instead knocks out an old lady Derek Jeter was helping across the street.

BoJack leaves a voicemail for Herb, saying that they should talk. After leaving the voicemail for Herb, BoJack then refuses an anonymous call out of annoyance, which was Todd using his one phone call from prison.

Cast[]

Actor Character
Will Arnett ... BoJack Horseman / Butterscotch Horseman
Amy Sedaris ... Princess Carolyn
Alison Brie ... Diane Nguyen / Koala
Paul F. Tompkins ... Mr. Peanutbutter
Aaron Paul ... Todd Chavez
Raphael Bob-Waksberg ... Additional voices
Larry Clarke ... Additional voices
Adam Conover ... Tour Guide
Chris Cox ... Derek Jeter
Ira Glass ... Himself
Melissa Leo ... Diane's Mother
Mike O'Malley ... Artie Nguyen
Patton Oswalt ... Pinky Penguin / Gary Nguyen / Bob Maggot
Dave Segal ... Robin Paparazzi
Stanley Tucci ... Herb Kazzaz

Trivia[]

  • This is the first of four episodes that are heavily centered around Diane Nguyen:
  • A running joke in this episode is that no one knows what show David Boreanaz is on or what he is famous for:
    • He first became known for playing Angel on the supernatural television series Buffy the Vampire Slayer followed by its spin-off series Angel. He later gained even greater notoriety playing FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth on the Fox primetime series Bones for twelve seasons between 2005 and 2017.
  • The name of the episode is a play on the phrase "Live fast, die young," because Diane's name sounds like "die young."
  • Diane is revealed to be thirty-four at the time of this episode.
  • "At Fenway" by Brian Evans plays during the scene when the bucket of Diane's father's chummed remains rolls through the city.
  • In a flashback, BoJack's father is reading a paper about Richard Nixon meeting Elvis Presley, who in the show's universe is a Hound Dog, a reference to his song of the same name.
    • This event happened in real life on December 21, 1970, which is likely around the time this flashback happened as well.
  • This episode makes several references to the film Good Will Hunting in this episode:
    • Much of the episode takes place in Boston, which is also the location of the film.
    • BoJack tells Diane's brothers about reaching for the same grapes as Ben Affleck, who stars as one of the main characters in the film.
    • BoJack and Diane have a conversation about moving on in life on a pickup truck at a dump before leaving Boston, similar to a scene with Matt Damon and Ben Affleck (at a construction site) before Damon's character leaves Boston.
  • BoJack mentions "The Munich Olympics" as one of the things that never existed to Diane, referencing the 1972 Munich Olympics, which was made infamous by the massacre of eleven Israeli athletes and coaches by the Black September terrorist group.
  • In BoJack's letter from "Leo" in this episode, it is revealed that Diane:
    • Brings her own bags to the grocery store.
    • Chews gum on airplanes so her ears won’t pop.
    • Is always organized to go places.
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