|“|| I was thinking about these grilled cheese sandwiches that I used to make, when I first moved to L.A., I was dirt broke and I had no friends and no job and I got obsessed with mastering the art of the grilled cheese sandwich. Partly because it was cheap, but while I was doing it, I wasn't thinking about how depressing my life was.
So, on the plane, I was thinking "I should make another grilled cheese sandwich" because I haven't, in a long time, but I love them, and they always make me feel better about things. And the thing about making your own grilled cheese sandwich is—you can do it anywhere, you know?
Diane and the cameraman Guy are out filming for a segment of Girl Croosh called Crooshing USA. The farmer they are interviewing asks what that means. Diane tells him "Crooshness" is hard to define. She also says she doesn't know it when she sees it.
The farmer then says he's always trying to get more girls interested in agriculture. Diane says his farm is also a front for a sex trafficking ring. Diane then questions how he got into sex trafficking, and the farmer then runs off. Guy then says he's probably not getting his microphone back.
They then go on to cover other stories.
They then arrive at the hotel, and realize there is just one bed, Guy says he should go down and complain to the front desk. Diane then kisses him and says it's a good bed. Diane is then waking up next to Guy in the hotel.
As she is getting ready for the day, there is a voice-over of BoJack's letter to her. BoJack (as a voice-over) tells Diane that this is the letter he wrote. He says rehab is making him write a letter to a friend because letter writing is supposed to be therapeutic. He says rehab has a lot of movie nights, hikes, and yoga. In general, he feels like it's going fine. BoJack goes on to say, while it is good he is no longer under the influence of drugs and alcohol, he feels like his time in rehab is like summer camp. It's temporary and easy. He knows he'll someday have to enter the real world again.
Diane and Guy are packing up in their hotel room. Guy tries calling his ex-wife Lady who presumably tells him his son doesn't want to talk to him. Guy is seen kicking his suitcase in frustration. BoJack (as a voice-over) says he's not even sure if he'll send the letter. He says if Diane is reading it he guesses that means he sent it.
Diane and Guy are driving in the Girl Croosh van when Guy says he's only in Chicago for a week and doesn't think it's selfish to want to see his son. Diane points out he could have at least given his ex some notice first, and he asks her whose side she's on. Diane changes the subject and tells him to look out the window.
Guy then says they are driving through the second big, muddy, big-shoulders city by the lake. He then points out Willis Tower and the new Whitewhale Building. Diane then asks how Guy can be excited about a huge cooperation like Whitewhale setting up shop in his home town. Guy is just excited there is a new building in his home town. He then says, "in your face, Dubai." This causes Diane to laugh.
Guy and Diane are then eating lunch at Parmadillo's. Guy asks what she thinks of the sandwich. Diane says it isn't bad. Stefani then calls asking Diane, saying that while she loves the serious stories Diane is covering, she would like some more feel-good stories as well. Diane counters this, by saying the stories they are covering are really making a difference. Stefani tells Diane that the serious news is bumming her out.
Guy then suggests they could do a story on the little girl who set up a lemonade stand to pay for her father's cancer treatment. Diane says that's not a feel-good story because this nation does not have subsidized healthcare, and therefore a child had to go join the workforce to pay for her father's cancer treatment to keep him alive.Guy then gives her another headline, "local cameraman has a pretty good thing going on where he gets to travel all over the country; and fool around in hotel rooms with his beautiful, smart feisty producer and he's pretty sure this passionate intelligent warrior for truth, likes it too. So maybe these two knuckleheads should put their pride aside for a second, and make some feel-good videos." Diane smiles at this and she and Guy hold hands.
Diane and Guy then go and cover the Every Animal Girl Company. The ladies who own it tell Diane they are two best friends who started a doll company because they got tired of seeing dolls, that showed unrealistic beauty standards. Diane then asks if their dolls are made from recyclable materials. The ladies both start giggling nervously and talking over each other. They tell Diane, they were purchased by Toys Galore, which is a subsidiary of Whitewhale.
Diane says it must be exciting for them to be bought out by a huge conglomerate and watch their company grow. Diane then further presses them on the recycled materials. They say their main focus is empowering young girls. They also say they are closing the main Chicago factory, so that they can relocate overseas, for cheaper labor just before the holidays. Guy reminds her that they are supposed to stick to feel-good stories. Diane then says it is an exciting and empowering time for them.
Afterward, Diane asks Guy if he can edit that down, into something "feel-goody." Guy says he can but it'll be late, as he is having friends over to watch the game. Diane then says she's freezing and Guy hands her his coat. Diane then asks if it is the Chicago Baby Humans game, and Guy confirms that it is.
Diane reacts with discomfort upon seeing the mascot character on TV, despite Guy's attempts to comfort her by saying the character is a reference to her "proud human heritage." Guy then awkwardly introduces Diane to his friends, as "the woman he works with." Diane then runs off to the restroom, saying she'll be right back. The doorbell rings and Guy goes to answer it. Diane washes her face and gets ready to come out of the restroom when Guy comes in.
Guy comes in apologizing. Diane at first thinks it's because they are not ready to put a label on their relationship. Guy then says his son's speech and debate tournament was canceled, and he showed up, catching Guy off guard. Guy then explains that he doesn't bring his son around women unless it's serious. He then tells Diane, she needs to escape through the bathroom window, and that she should stay in a hotel. Diane agrees that makes sense, and complements his home, before escaping. Diane lands in some bushes and runs to grab her suitcase.
While this is going on, BoJack's next letter to Diane is heard as a voice-over.
BoJack (as a voice-over) tells about a woman at Pastiches, named Beverly, who stole his snack kit. BoJack explains they build their snack kits as a team-building exercise, for their morning hikes. BoJack says he put an extra bag of candied nuts in the snack pack. BoJack says he even labeled them with his initials so that everybody would know they were his.
BoJack then says Beverly saw the 'B' and assumed it was for her, thinking she had a secret admirer, and the 'B' stood for Beverly. BoJack then says he should never expect anything nice, such as an extra bag of candied nuts. BoJack then asks Diane what's new with her. He then says he's just kidding, and he knows she can't answer since this is a letter.
While BoJack is narrating this, Diane is walking to her hotel, freezing. She then wakes up the next morning and gets a call from Stefani. Stefani tells Diane made a big impression with the guys at Whitewhale. She says they bought Girl Croosh, to Diane's shock. She then goes on to say they technically bought Fuddrucker's, and merged it with Dow Chemical, to create a new media venture called Spronk! She then says Spronk! acquired Univision, which will include Girl Croosh, in the Gizmodo-branded mist of advertorial.
Diane says that's terrible. Stefani says not for her, she'll be rich. Diane reminds her she already is rich. Stefani wishes her good luck with Spronk!, which is currently rebranding as Content Spew. Diane then says, "Oh, Spronk me."
Later, at the Whitewhale building, Diane and Guy attend a meeting. Guy tries to apologize for the previous night, and Diane says they should just watch the movie. The movie explains how Whitewhale got their start, through vertical integration and the oligopoly. The video then tells them they have also been "gobbled up" by Whitewhale. Diane then asks if they are supposed to be charmed by this. They are then given binders of their sister companies and are told to be mindful of them, as they spew their content.
Diane and Guy then go to Parmadillo's to review the binders. Diane asks Guy if he thinks Whitewhale bought Girl Croosh just to kill their video. Guy then says Diane should have just made a feel-good video about best friends starting a business together, as they had originally planned. Diane says maybe it's for the best and Guy can get a new job in Chicago and spend more time with his kid. Guy then asks Diane about the book of essays she wants to write. She then tells him the ridiculously long working title. Guy then points out she should save something, for the inside of her book.
Diane then says, she guesses that's it for their relationship. Guy then says unless that's not the end just yet. Diane questions what he means. Guy then suggests doing a video about anything they wanted and then posting it on the website, before Whitewhale realizes they still have all the passwords. Diane then suggests they do a video about Whitewhale. She then gets excited at the prospect of taking Whitewhale down.
They then go to the art museum to talk discreetly, to a reporter from the Tribune, named Isabel. Isabel then makes a reference to The Great Gatsby, which confuses Diane. Isabel retorts Diane should read a book. Guy then tells her that she should be nice. Isabel says she wishes she had the energy. Her obsession destroyed her relationships and obliterated her career for nothing. She had one contact on the warehouse floor, Matt Minnowman. Isabel says maybe that's their story. Diane questions why isn't it Isabel's story. Isabel says, her editor thought she was becoming too obsessed with the Whitewhale beat, so he moved her to the Holiday gift guide desk.
Diane says she can't believe they found a lead, as they leave the museum. She then questions how it's so cold outside in October. Guy tells her there are only two seasons in Chicago: cold and extreme humidity. He then tells her she'll learn to love it. Diane and Guy then take a romantic walk through the snow on their way home.
While this is going on, (BoJack as a voice-over) continues the story of Beverly stealing his snack kits. He says Beverly thought the initials "BH" stood for Beverly here you go. BoJack sys Beverly can't even eat the nuts, because she's allergic, and she usually just ends up giving them to BoJack. BoJack then says Doctor Champ would say it means something, that the universe has a way of looking out for us. BoJack finally concludes it is working for him. He says he hopes everything is working out for Diane too.
Diane is then staying up late, doing a Poodle search on Matt Minnowman. She finds out he died in an accident when he was staying late at work. Diane tells Guy he died when he was trying to expose working conditions in the warehouse. They then interview various employees and do their own research. According to the employees, they left Matt Minnowman's body outside, as a warning to the other workers. They are then working from home, and Guy says he doesn't think they can attribute it to intentional cruelty it, it's callousness. Diane asks, can't it be both. Guy elaborates, saying Whitewhale isn't evil they are just capitalists. Diane then asks what the difference is.
Diane then gets a call from Whitewhale to meet the next day, and to bring their camera with them. Diane questions if Whitewhale is on to them, why would they want to meet. Guy says he guesses they'll find out and Diane says she's weirdly excited. Guy then gives Diane a coat. Diane says she loves it, but she would not get much use of a coat like that in L.A. Guy then tells her it's for Chicago. Diane then questions if this is Guy's way of asking her to move to Chicago. He jokingly says not everything has a hidden meaning or conspiracy behind it; sometimes a coat is just a coat.
Guy then questions Diane on why she should go back to L.A. Diane says it's because she lives there. Guy says there is nothing for her in L.A. anymore and then asks why she is punishing herself. Diane tries to say she isn't, but Guy cuts her off and says he also has to suffer every time Diane needs to borrow his coat. Diane asks if that inconveniences him. Guy then asks why he has to suffer because Diane has this ideological objection to feeling good.
Diane says she would love to have the luxury of feeling good about herself. She then says that it must be really nice for Guy to feel good about himself, while the world burns around him. Guy tells Diane it's not about the world, it's about their relationship. Diane then asks what exactly they are relationship-wise. She wonders if she's his girlfriend or just some woman he works with. Diane then leaves the new coat with Guy and says she's checking back into the hotel.
The next day they meet at Whitewhale. Diane says she didn't know if he would come. Guy hands her the new coat and says they have a job to do. Guy records a video of their meeting. Whitewhale says he doesn't know what kind of video they are making, but he doesn't mind. Diane says he can't stop them. Whitewhale reiterates he doesn't want to stop them. Whitewhale explains when people put out videos or media calling his company evil, people think their business is uncompromised by morality, and their stocks go up. Diane then questions this, saying it doesn't bother his shareholders, that one of his employees died in an accident.
Whitewhale then questions what Diane is referring too. She brings up Matt Minnowman and shows Whitewhale his picture. Whitewhale admits to the murder of Minnowman. Whitewhale then says Minnowman took too many bathroom breaks and encouraged the other employees to do so as well. Diane then asks Whitewhale if he's not worried about this getting leaked, especially now, when they are recording him.
Whitewhale then informs her congress passed a bill legalizing murder if you are rich. Diane checks the news on her phone in disbelief and realizes it's true. Whitewhale suggests Diane could become rich and murder him. He then offers them gift bags on their way out.
At the train station, Guy says they could still post the video. Diane sounding defeated asks why. Guy says it has been real and he's not going to be the guy who begs her to stay. He says their life together would be really good if she chooses to stay, though. Diane says she can't stay with Guy, if he is the only good thing in her life, as she feels it is too much pressure. Diane then boards the train, and Guy tells her she is going to get screwed, as she wanted to go to the airport and that train is going to Cottage Grove.
Diane finally arrives back in L.A. While she is in the taxi home, BoJack (as a voice-over) says it was Beverly's last day. He talks about how everyone was really excited for her, but Beverly was really disappointed, in never finding out who her secret admirer was. BoJack finally admits Beverly's "secret admirer" was him.
Beverly is disappointed at this, as she was hoping it was Mario, and everybody else made BoJack feel guilty for making Beverly cry on her last day. This causes BoJack to wonder if it was worth it to keep Beverly happy for a little bit, even though it ended up being sad. He then wonders if it would have been better, if the whole thing never happened, to begin with.
BoJack continues to say, every time someone leaves rehab, it makes you think about your own progress. He says some days he feels like he is not progressing at all, and other days only a little. He then goes on to say how he feels stupid, for not doing this sooner. BoJack says he wasted so many years being miserable, because he assumed that was the only way to be, and he doesn't want to do that anymore. He also asks is he crazy, or has he gotten really good at writing letters.
While BoJack is narrating this, Diane walks into her apartment and sees the letter from him. She reads it and then calls Guy.
The episode ends with Guy picking up the phone and she narrates to him a story, about how when she first moved to L.A., she used to make herself grilled cheese sandwiches. Diane goes on to say, she was dirt-broke and didn't have friends or a job, but she got obsessed with the art of perfecting her grilled cheese sandwich. She says it was a good distraction from how miserable she was, and also partly because it was cheap. Diane says she wants to make a grilled cheese sandwich again, because she loves them, and the best part is that they can be made anywhere. They both smile at this.
|Will Arnett||...||BoJack Horseman|
|Alison Brie||...||Diane Nguyen|
|Kimiko Glenn||...||Stefani Stilton|
- This is the third of four episodes that are heavily centered around Diane:
- Princess Carolyn, Todd Chavez, and Mr. Peanutbutter do not appear in this episode. BoJack is not seen but only heard through the voiceover in his letter to Diane.
- Diane and Guy's interactions with Isabel are a parody of Moby Dick. Isabel introduces herself by saying "Call me Isabel." The first sentence in Moby Dick is "Call me Ishmael." Isabel then discusses her "hunt" for the "beast" that is Whitewhale, in a similar manner to Captain Ahab, who spends the duration of the book hunting a literal white whale.
- This is all humorously followed up with a Great Gatsby reference, while the more obvious Moby Dick parallels are ignored by the characters.
- The montage of Guy and Diane walking home from the art museum is similar to the one of Belle and The Beast in Beauty and the Beast.
- The Chicago Baby Humans name and mascot appear to be parodying real-life sports teams, such as the Washington Redskins, which have become the subject of controversy due to their insensitive depictions of Native Americans.
- The mascot Waa-Waa is depicted as a "furless, featherless dolt" who toddles around drinking poison as the narrator mocks him.
- Whitewhale seems to be inspired by the Walt Disney corporation and pays homage to it in several ways. (Despite this, the Walt Disney Company is established to also exist in the BoJack universe, and it is owned by Whitewhale as of Feel-Good Story.)
- The film that Diane and Guy watch about Whitewhale's origins utilizes an animation style similar to that of early Disney cartoons.
- Jeremiah Whitewhale's appearance seems to be partially based off of that of Walt Disney (the person). Most notably, they have the same mustache.