Brrap Brrap Pew Pew is the sixth episode of Season 3 of the Netflix original series BoJack Horseman, and the 30th episode overall. This episode, along with the rest of Season 3, aired on July 22, 2016.
The two drive home, acting awkward about talking about the baby, although they had always agreed that they didn't want kids. They agree to say what they want on the count of three—they both say to get an abortion.
At the Golden Snowflake Awards, Jurj Clooners wins the award for Best Actor in a Motion Picture or Vine. This upsets BoJack, who was also nominated for Secretariat. At the after-party, Ana assures BoJack that his time will come.
BoJack tries to talk to Diane, but she's working and isn't in the mood for talking. This upsets him and he asks repeatedly what's going on, and she shouts at him that she's getting an abortion. BoJack then says he knows what that's like, because in the 90s he paid for a lot of them, and he really hopes all those women actually got the abortions.
This sparks a media frenzy. At VIM, Diane and Princess Carolyn wait in the lobby for Sextina. Princess Carolyn angrily tells Diane her company is hanging by a thread, and clients like Sextina are all that's keeping it afloat. Diane thinks if she just apologizes to Sextina she'll understand, but Princess Carolyn tells her she's a teenage pop star—"the two least compassionate entities combined into the supernova of not understanding that is Sextina Aquafina."
Just then, Sextina arrives in the elevator, and she's angry over the situation. After they walk into an office, Sextina fires Diane. Diane apologizes and says she'll put out a statement explaining everything. However, when she goes on her phone she discovers many celebrities and social media outlets are praising Sextina for being "brave" and willing to talk about abortions upfront, something many women don't do.
Sextina is pleased by the attention this will bring her, and tells Diane she's re-hired and that she wants to keep going along with the lie. Princess Carolyn deems her the face of the pro-choice movement but says he has to get educated on it.
Diane, Mr. Peanutbutter, and Sextina all go to the abortion clinic together. Diane learns of all the things that, by law, the doctor has to do before she can have an abortion, which includes learning her baby's favorite color is blue and that she has to watch cute puppy videos by herself.
At the Leonard Maltin Awards, the Malty goes to Bread Poot. BoJack runs into Jurj Clooners at the bar, and the two begins to talk—BoJack says that since Bread won this night, then maybe next time it will be him. Jurj says that he isn't going to win because his name isn't a real name, meaning he isn't as big as the other nominees, and the shows are rigged in their honor. Jurj then pranks BoJack when they shake hands and he shocks BoJack with a joy buzzer.
Sextina is on a TV interview with A Ryan Seacrest Type. She tells him how she wanted to destigmatize abortion- and to do so she's releasing a new single, to the concern of Diane. Sextina reveals the music video for her new song, Get Dat Fetus Kill Dat Fetus, and the video and lyrics are raunchy and irreverent.
While the video plays, Sextina goes backstage to a shocked Diane and tells her she inspired her. Diane thinks the tone is harsh. Sextina retorts that when she gets an abortion she can express herself any way she wants. It's her body and her choices and she wants to be a "total badass." Diane counters this by saying that she is actually getting an abortion and tells Sextina she's not even pregnant. Sextina doesn't care because it's show business.
BoJack, wanting to get back at Jurj Clooners for pranking him, disguises himself as his driver to the Image Choice Spirit Awards and plans to hit him in the face with a baseball bat to prove how stupid pranks are. The plan begins to go smoothly, with BoJack speaking with a fake accent and wearing a fake mustache to disguise himself.
However, to BoJack's shock, Ana gets in the car with Jurj, revealing she's his publicist too. Jurj then asks his driver to make a few stops for him and to go into the stops for him so that he doesn't get mobbed by fans. BoJack's true stop is denied but Ana demands he listens to Jurj.
Diane, Sextina, Princess Carolyn, and Mr. Peanutbutter are riding in Sextina's limo. Diane tells Sextina, who's in a hot tub, that she's using the pro-life movement for her fame, but Sextina is bored by her. Princess Carolyn also asks Diane to drop it. Diane tells Sextina that she has everyone's attention right now, but that pretty soon it will go away, and she'll regret not making a difference with it when she has the chance.
BoJack has finally made it to the Image Choice Spirit Awards with Jurj and Ana. Jurj asks him to drive back so that they can pick up his wife but a frustrated BoJack reveals himself. He is hurt, as he believes Ana went behind his back by supporting Jurj, and thinks that's the reason her clients win every year—she supports everyone, menacing she's not actually a good publicist. Ana sternly says she's a marvelous publicist, and this behavior doesn't look good for him. BoJack fires Ana and demands she and Jurj get out of the limo.
Sextina is on the news being interviewed by Tom Jumbo-Grumbo. She tells him abortion is a very serious issue and wants to show America what it's really all about—which is why she's gonna have her abortion live on pay-per-view TV.
At Princess Carolyn's office at VIM, Diane questions to Sextina how that will even be possible because she isn't even pregnant, but Princess Carolyn is already planning it out, saying they'll fake it and pre-record it,and put a "live" icon at the bottom of the screen to trick people. Diane is completely against this, but Princess Carolyn angrily tells her it's what Sextina wants. Princess Carolyn also tells Diane to "stop making the whole situation about herself."
She says she's tired of her creating problems and sarcastically pities her for having a husband and being able to have children (two things we’ve seen her struggle to get or learn might not be possible at her age). Sextina figures the conversation isn't about her anymore and begins to leave. Diane refuses to be a part of the plan and leaves.
Meanwhile, BoJack has made Todd his new publicist, but he, of course, fails to find BoJack any good ways to publicize himself.
At the abortion clinic, Diane complains about Sextina bad Princess Carolyn to Mr. Peanutbutter, who listens and voices his support to everything she says. Diane decides to take the high road and go on the news and rat them out, which Mr. Peanutbutter reluctantly tells her may not be a good idea.
Just then, a young woman sitting next to them asks if she knows Sextina Aquafina, and when Diane confirms this the woman says it's really cool she's using her music to empower women
and that she herself feels stronger due to her music. Diane questions if she finds the lyrics in her latest song offensive at all, but the woman says everyone knows she's just joking and doesn't actually mean it. She says getting an abortion is scary, but it becomes less scary when you can laugh at it. This gives Diane a sense of realization, and she gets called in for her abortion.
At nighttime, BoJack finds Ana in his living room, waiting in the dark. She tells him she dropped all of her other clients to focus on him. This freaks BoJack out, but Ana tells him that she believes in him. As she seduces him by telling him he is her star, she grabs his genitals and begins to squeeze them tightly as she warns him to never try to screw her over again.
Princess Carolyn and Diane sit watching Sextina's "abortion" on television at the former's apartment. The two are surprised at how tasteful and informative it actually was. Princess Carolyn asks Diane how she's feeling, and she says that she feels shitty but she's glad she did it. However, she felt old when she did it because all the other women there were teenagers and women in their early 20s, and she should feel ready to have kids. Princess Carolyn, however, cuts her off—sternly telling her she shouldn't have to explain anything to anyone.
Princess Carolyn gets a call from Sextina who tells them that she's been having a lot of sex, as dolphins have sex for pleasure. She just found out she got pregnant for real, and she thinks she wants to keep it. However, this will confuse her fans as they just saw her get an abortion. Princess Carolyn tells her to meet them at her office in twenty minutes.
Diane and Princess Carolyn start to come up with ideas on how to fix the problem—they'll film a bunch of videos right now and release them over the course of a year to keep her relevant, in the meantime Sextina can go to a farm where celebrities disappear before she starts showing, and when she returns she can say she adopted her baby. Princess Carolyn exclaims people will love it, and Diane agrees and says, "Everyone loves a baby!"
|Will Arnett||...||BoJack Horseman|
|Amy Sedaris||...||Princess Carolyn|
|Alison Brie||...||Diane Nguyen / Golden Snowflake Announcer / Nurse|
|Paul F. Tompkins||...||Mr. Peanutbutter / Janitor / Bartholomew Scagsworth / Abortion Doctor|
|Aaron Paul||...||Todd Chavez|
|Angela Basset||...||Ana Spanakopita|
|Daniele Gaither||...||Sextina Aquafina|
|Jay Mohr||...||Jurj Clooners / Foggy St. Jerusalem / TV Doctor (voice)|
|Adam Conover||...||A Ryan Seacrest Type / Reginald Rangoon III|
|Keith Olberman||...||Tom Jumbo-Grumbo|
|Leonard Maltin||...||Leonard Maltin|
|Nicole Byer||...||Teenage Girl at abortion clinic|
|Patrick J. Carney||...||Jay Zebra|
- Diane begins to drop an f-bomb in the last episode, but it gets cut short to "motherf-." She says the "ucker" part in this episode.
- Unlike other f-bombs in BoJack Horseman, this one doesn't relate to BoJack's pattern of permanently damaging relationships.
- At the Golden Snowflake Awards, BoJack, Princess Carolyn, and Diane wear the same outfits they wear in the Season 3 opening credits.
- Picket signs used by protestors outside Planned Parrothood:
- "They kill PUPPIES!"
- "LIFE begins in the EGG!"
- "Babies are FUN"
- "Would you abort a CAR??"
- "What if JESUS was aborted?"
- The janitor who mentions wanting to clean up for the "OCD Image Awards" is the same janitor who tried to give Todd life advice in Still Broken.
- MSNBSea tickers:
- "Skinny celebrity orders french fries during interview with G.Q."
- "Obama declares country simply must see Hamilton"
- "Person writing news ticker headlines wasting life, sources say"
- "Polar ice caps so hot right now"
- "U.S. celebrates three days without mass shooting—this just in: nevermind."
- "...and sometimes I do have doubts and it's hard to sleep... I think about my child's heartbeat, and oh it makes me weep... I pray to god my little fetus has a soul... 'cause I want it to feel pain when I eject it from my hole!"